You know the type.
Costs spiral. Deadlines multiply like rabbits. “Must-have features” get quietly pushed into a mythical “phase two” that never arrives. And yet, from the top deck, the message is always the same:
“Everything’s fine, full steam ahead!”
Meanwhile, you’re below deck, scooping out water with a teaspoon, wondering if your LinkedIn profile needs a refresh.
The Telltale Signs of a Doomed Project
How do you know the ship is sinking? Easy. Just look for these universal warning signs:
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PowerPoints get shinier as the project gets shakier.
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Leadership swaps out “working product” with phrases like “strategic alignment” and “future potential.”
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The project plan is now 400 slides long, and still no one knows what you’re actually building.
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Team morale is measured in how much sarcasm can be packed into the daily stand-up.
If you’ve ever thought, “Am I the only one who sees the flames pouring out of the engine room?” — congratulations, you’re on a doomed project.
Coping Strategies for the Doomed
So what do you do when you’re strapped to the deck of a slow-motion car crash?
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Document Everything
Not just emails. Etch it into stone tablets if you have to. You’ll want receipts when someone inevitably asks, “Why didn’t anyone warn us?” -
Perfect Your Poker Face
Practice nodding sagely in meetings while internally screaming. Bonus points for jotting nonsense in your notebook — no one will question “synergy roadmap,” but it makes a great doodle. -
Redefine Your Goals
Forget delivering the impossible. Instead, focus on achievable wins:-
Did you stop yourself from flipping a table? ✅
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Did you keep the junior developer from quitting today? ✅
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Did you find a new meme for the team chat that perfectly sums up the chaos? ✅
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Humour = Lifeboat
If you can’t fix it, mock it. A well-timed joke in the trenches is worth more than a motivational speech from the captain.
The Emotional Rollercoaster
The hardest part isn’t the failure itself. It’s knowing it’s coming, waving your arms wildly, and watching the “powers that be” blissfully ignore every red flag.
It’s like being on the Hindenburg and whispering, “Is anyone else smelling smoke?”
while management beams and says, “Nonsense! This blimp is the future!”
Final Thought: Protect Thyself
When projects implode, leadership will be “shocked,” consultants will cash their cheques, and someone will quietly bury the lessons learned. But you? You’ll still have your sanity if you protect it.
Remember:
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You didn’t steer the ship.
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You didn’t order “full speed ahead.”
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And when it does go down in flames, at least you’ll have front-row seats to one of corporate life’s greatest comedies.
Because at the end of the day… sometimes the only motivation left is knowing you weren’t the one pressing the big red button.
